Do You Blame HIM?

We all have our stories.  The ones that set us on our life journey. Some better than others.  Some sadder than others.  Some we want to forget or those that, when remembered, bring us joy!  Maybe, like my own, yours is a mixture of both.

There are things in life that we can honestly say, we didn't ask for.  Other things we experienced because we made a choice to do so.  Either way, what we do with the outcome is always our choice.   We move on...

Moving on doesn't mean we forget...doesn't mean we don't still feel hurt...we move on to the next journey that God has for us.  We move forward only stronger.

There are times when I find myself thinking back on my life...not to dwell on the hard times...not to feel sorry for myself...I do so, because I am reminded of how good God has been to me.  I can honestly say, that through all the pain I have endured...whether by my own choices or not...it's all ok!  I believe that God allows us to make choices, he allows pain and difficult tiimes in our life, so we can turn to Him and we can grow in our relationship with Him and in our own character.

I can't remember a time...not one...where I blamed God for any of it.  Even as a little girl, when I didn't have the ablility to understand why my mother chose to abuse drugs, I remember crying out to the Lord, for comfort...for help...but never did I blame him.  Even as a 16 year old girl, lost in her existence, pregnant and scared...I didn't blame God.  Even during the years, as a single mother, strugglinng to raise my son and work and go to school...times when I thought I was truly alone...I know I wasn't!  Even during the past 10 years, since I married my fabulous husband, when things have been hard...I never blamed God!  He has been the ONLY constant in my life...the ONLY one who never left me...never dissappointed me...never hurt me...never did He stop loving me...NEVER!  When I think about it, I am in awe...amazed at how much God loves us.  

I do not write any of this to have a pity party.  I decided years ago that my life was not my own.  The Lord has done miracles with my messes, so I don't feel it is right to keep it to myself.  I feel as though we have no right to blame God.  Who am I to question Him?  If I hadn't gone through the things that I did in my life, where would I be today?  Who would I be?  I am so thankful for my life...then and now...because it has been His plan all along.  To bring me to this place in my life where ALL the glory is HIS!  I take credit for none of it.

Some may look at my life now and say, but you are just a housewife...just a mom...just PTA mom...just this or NOT that...yep!  That's right!  My simple little life.  All the blessings I have right now...my unbelievable husband, my children...the 3 I gave birth to and the 3 that God has allowed me to love as my own...my faith, my friendships!  It may be, not so much to some, but it is everything to me!  So, for who I am today, because of where God had me yesterday, I can only be thankful!!

Small Wonders grow up to be Big Wonders!!

Today, I had the pleasure of watching Lucas, one of my very best friend's baby.  I loved every minute...getting my baby fix!  It's been a few years since I've taken care of a baby!  My youngest, Zachary, is 4 and very much a big boy now.  As I sat with Lucas in my arms, I wondered what he was thinking.  As he made noises at me or smiled or squawked, just what is going on in his little mind.  Was he really intrigued by me...was he laughing at me...was it gas...I wonder!  It's funny to watch babies as they look around and explore and take it all in.  It is amazing to think about how their little minds function and how very cool God is for creating something so complex. 

As I sat and let my mind ponder such mysteries...or if you want to go ahead and call it as it is, you can say my A.D.D. kicked it :)...I thought of my own kids.  I thought about how even now, in all of their different life stages and ages, I still wonder what in the world is going on in their minds...what are they wondering?  Ya know, when they smile at you, and say "Yes Mom" or "Ok" (insert sarcastic tone here), what are they really thinking?  What do they really want to say to me?  Hmm...I wonder!  Of course, there are those times when they will just come out and say it...more so the teens who think they must speak their minds...but really, really?...not such a good idea...walk away very quickly before mom opens a can (yes i said it).  Seriously though, and sadly, they really don't share too much of their 'wonderment' out loud.  Which brings me back, again, to wondering!!  

Then there is my 9 year old who vocalizes her wonders, without much hesitation.  Still with that sweet innocence and the genuine need for understanding. The age where she wants to make sense of everything and know the why's behind it all.  You know?  Those things they wonder about and that we are not quite ready to visit?  As uncomfortable as I may be, most of the time, I am happy to oblige.  I know these kinds of discussions are important and I want to grab on to every 'learning' opportunity I can.  That is not to say, that sometimes 'because I said so', is quite enough...now go to your room!  :)  

My 4 year old...he is a character! He wonders about everything!  AND I love it.   He questions everything and even comes up with his own answers sometimes!  In his preschool class the question was asked of the students, "where do dreams come from?"  His answer, "dreams come from God and He is in our hearts." (by the way...way to preach it son!)  His innocent mind, wonders about the simple things...the sweet things some of us don't even think about anymore or perhaps have forgotten! 

As a wife & mother, I do a lot of my own wondering, mostly related to my kids.  My mind races with different levels of wonder...how will Zachary adapt to preschool and will he be prepared well enough for Kindergarten?  How well are we preparing Grace, spiritually and emotionally for junior high and beyond?  How hard do we push Meagan and McKayla in school and water polo?  Is it too much?  Are we doing enough for them?  Did we set a good enough foundation for our boys, now in college? Will they make the right decisions and hold fast to their faith?  And it goes on and on!  I know I am not alone...trust me...I know that it comes with motherhood.  But, I have to tell you...it's scary.  You have control for a minute...or so you think...then you don't!  Which brings me to my final thought...

The wonder that I have for my kids and my parenting and their future, etc...stops at The Cross!  That is not to say I don't wonder or I can't...but I can't allow myself to be consumed.  I have faith that the Lord is in control of it all.  No matter what I do...He ultimately calls the shots and the outcome is ALL HIM!  Do I worry?  YES!  Do I get scared?  Uh, YES!  Do I want to...so very badly...take things into my own hands and fix it?  For sure, YES!  The good news is, that I know a loving and faithful God that, when we give it to him, takes all of that 'wonder' and makes it all 'wonderful'! 

 ²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

My First Blog

I am so excited to finally have created a blog.  I have been thinking about doing it for a long time, but kept putting it off, with the excuse of not having enough time.  But, here I am...I still don't think I have enough time...but really, it is something that the Lord has prompted me to do, SO I should probably find the time, right?  Afterall, I believe that if something is God inspired, amazingly the resources will be found...in this case, time!

With the help of my fabulous husband, I landed on the name for my blog, "Snap Shots of Grace".   Why such an emphasis on grace?  Because I am who I am because of God's grace in my life.

"By the grace of God, I am who I am."

1 Corinthians 15:10

Grace is a undeserved gift given from God.  My life, ALL of it, is an undeserved gift given from God.  My philosophy is that my life isn't my own.  I can look back at my 37+ years and see God's handprint all over it...the 'snap shots', if you will, where there is no explanation for me being who I am today, other than God's grace.  Now, me being who I am...how I view myself verses how others may view me are two different things.  I guess opinions could waver greatly, depending on who you ask.  But, my value isn't found in man, but in the Lord! I cannot say that though, without a disclaimmer...I believe my value is found only in Him...I truly believe that in my heart...but my head and Satan want to trip me up ALL the time and try and make me believe otherwise! This is an everyday struggle, of course, and everyday, I am reminded that God loves me in spite of my flaws...my many flaws! I am not being unrealistic, with my head in the clouds thinking all is roses...but I can just honestly say, that through my life, through the good AND bad, God has poured out His grace and continues to do so! 

I am so excited to share my journey with you.  The journey that has brought me this far and the journey that is ahead of me.  Can't wait to see how God is going to use me, now that He has me where He wants me...FOR NOW!